Fake Trip Advisor Review 3

Hotel in Africa - Klaus Von Gulag

Oh my God! Yes, finally, hahah! Was der coolen vacation jamals! How to describe? So viel spab! Africa is rich with sausages, sausages in der animals, in der kitchen and dining room table, in der spa…the sauna sooo hot! Hahah!
We went on safari organized by the hotel, so much must, main event of my trip. You must! There were other German tourists and we had for wurstfest! Because you find the zebra and it has two colors: white and black and contrast against the wilderness finds easy prey for the lion, because we saw it jump and make a tasty meal! Der manager of der tour group served us after der lion had leaved us. We had der sausages we grilled on der safari panzerkampfwagen! We had the most enchanting whimsyhausen, we even danced and Marie and I went running on the safari with nothing! Der manager smeared the zebra on his face and went running after us like the lion, he was all red and screaming like lunatikausel! We laughed and danced and ate der zebra sausages!
In the evening he took us back to the hotel and we were so tired all der German couples came up to our room for wurstfest slumber. When I awoke we forgotten der zebra bloot and found it all over the bedsheets, the cleaning kammerjungfer thought it was wine gluton! Oh my God! They said for too many in one bed but our tour safari manager had party kampf with maid right there and she promised not to say nothing! Haha!
We cleaned off der zebra bloot in the steam roomen and finished the last zebra sausages out of der garbage sacken. Der safari manager introduced us to his party colleague the hotel manager and we went playing out by the pool. You can drink the hefeweisen and we wore nothing and ate the sausages inside the swimming pool. The managers were so happy we had der last zebra sausages so we finished der hefeweisen and went for more.
On the safari again there were no lions so the hotel manager was could not be patient and just shoot the zebras. We ate the sausages and played in the bloot like nothing! Marie and I ran off into the safari land again and the managers and tour guests danced in the zebra bloot and ate the sausages.
We return in the hotel and we were too tired from the party festing and the managers just slept in our room again. We had a kampf in the morning over the sausages and we resolve tear them in half and share, he was very generous!
Der rest of der fest we had similar days and we borrowed the panzerkamfwagen for airport departure and flew out. I think the other Germans still at the pool in the sausages! Hahaha! Oh my God!



-Klaus.